When Your Ex Starts Dating

When I first got divorced, I couldn't imagine my Ex dating any time soon. Not that I thought he wouldn't jump right in, but per the reasons of the divorce I was hoping he'd give himself time to figure some things out.

However, that's not really his style. He jumped right in.

I actually ran into him multiple times at Singles events. Which was . . . awkward. I mean, REALLY awkward. Especially because we have a bunch of the same friends, so we saw a lot of each other.

Nothing kills the mood at a singles event when you're hanging out with your Ex husband who was at the time trying to drag you to court any chance he got.

A couple of times I ran into him while he was on dates. Seeing him with another woman wasn't weird, though. I felt like I'd moved on already, so seeing him with someone else didn't really phase me. The awkwardness came from just being at singles events with him.

The other thing is that it makes you think about your own relationship status. Or lack there of. Which is not fun.

So how do you deal with that? How do you deal with the weird, awkward feelings of your Ex dating?

Personally, I just thought about all the reasons for the divorce. I thought about how I was treated, how I am still treated, and everything else. And all of a sudden it didn't matter that I was running into him in awkward places. Because what his relationship status was didn't apply to me. In fact, I have a court document saying that it DOESN'T APPLY TO ME. I'd moved on anyway, and life isn't a race.

Besides, some people have this incredible need to be in a relationship. It is unhealthy, and doesn't reflect on anything with you.

What are your thoughts?

When Divorced, when should you start dating?

Ah, the age-old re-occurring question:

"I'm getting divorced. When should I start dating?"

Some people mean this question in a "I am so excited to be moving on with my life, so when is the first possible moment I can put myself out there again" and some people mean this question in a "I am so traumatized from my marriage that I want to know the last possible moment that it seems acceptable for me to still not be putting myself out there again."

Did that rambling make sense? I hope so.

The problem with this question is that everyone has an a different opinion. Depending on who you ask, the answer will change drastically.

However, for me, it comes down to this:

1. Wait until the divorce is final. Judge signed, waiting period over FINAL.

For me, Dating while you are married at all is a no-go. Not only from a religious standpoint, but as a woman I don't want my guy legally attached to someone else. Not only is that creepy and disturbing, but generally we refer to that as cheating.

I don't want a guy that is ok with that in any degree, and I don't want a guy to think that I am ok with that to any degree.

2. Once the divorce is final, go with your gut.

Only you can know when you are ready to jump back into the dating scene. But it's OK to start slow. After all, it's weird to suddenly be in the singles scene again. But that is a post for another time.


What do you think? When is it OK to start dating?