What does it mean if someone is "Pro Se"

When someone is Pro Se (pronounced Pro-Say), it means that they appear for themselves.

See the definition on the Free Dictionary Here .

Some people represent themselves and do not hire a lawyer. This is called Pro Se. 

I have never been Pro Se, but I still highly recommend NOT being Pro Se if you don't have to be. If you don't have a lawyer it means that you have to manage the system and court rules by yourself. Luckily there are resources for those people that need help with this, sometimes even through the court. Like pre-made forms and things like that.

But, at least in my jurisdiction, you can't have a lawyer retained and decide to just be Pro Se for one court date. Either you have a lawyer, or you don't.

Pros (that I have seen) for being Pro Se:

-You don't have to pay a lawyer

-You know your case better than anyone and are able to convey your argument however you want to.

Cons (that I have seen) for being Pro Se:

-Limited to no help legally

-You probably don't have any experience, may come across as cocky for choosing to be Pro Se

Unless you don't have a choice, don't be Pro Se. Lawyers are there to help you understand rules, due dates and timelines, etc. They give you advice. Many times a lawyer will know/have experience your judge or commissioner and be able to give you advice based on how that judge generally rules. I know lots of people who regretted not getting a lawyer in the beginning of their case. A bit of money now could save you the heartache of a bad deal later.

If money is an issue, check in to options for financially struggling or low income families. Legal aid type things. I will do a post on that topic in the future.

After the Custody Evaluation

Custody Evaluations can be very stressful. You feel like your whole life is in someone else's hands. Which, honestly, is pretty much true. Once it's over, though, it's not completely over. There is still something I would suggest doing.

Keep a log of major things that have happened since the Custody evaluation. These are things that if you ever found yourself in more interviews with your custody evaluater you would tell him or her.

You'll be amazed at how fast your memory fails you. You'll be thinking to yourself, "When did that event happen? Was it right before the custody evaluation, or right after?"

So then, if I think this to myself, I go check the log I've made.

Note: I talk A LOT about keeping logs. Financial logs, contact logs, post custody evaluation logs, etc. If you start them early, then you can just update them as you go. It is a huge undertaking, but totally worth it. Know what is going on in your case, have a handle on it. AND, whether your logs are on the computer or in hard copy, LABEL LABEL LABEL! Have things organized.

We'll talk more about organizing your divorce documents later.

When Should You Take Off Your Ring?

This is something that every single divorced person has to deal with at some point.

When do I take off my ring?

I personally struggled with this. Because on one hand I saw the ring as symbolizing something very hurtful that went down in flames. On the other hand, people interact with you differently if you are wearing a ring.

Because, in my opinion, you are not "on the market" again before the divorce is officially final. Judge signed, copy recieved, divorce recorded, etc.

Wearing a wedding ring signals to people that you are not available (or at least it should). Especially in the middle of a nasty divorce, I didn't want to deal with people not realizing that I wasn't available or that I didn't want any flirts.

-Not that I got that many, lets be honest here.

I did take my ring off before my divorce was officially final for 3 reasons. 1) I was so sick of wearing the symbol of something that should have been sacred. 2) I was ready to mentally move on (not dating wise, just mentally be in divorcing mode) and 3) I wasn't having any real issues with other people flirting.

Actually, I really did like my ring. The whole divorce was sad, of course. But, loosing the ring I loved was sad too.

So, what do you think? When did you take off your ring?