Should I Get Divorced?

Note: I am not a lawyer, therapist or adviser of any kind. This is based off of my personal experiences. 

Unfortunately, many people have found themselves asking this exact question. Should we separate? Should we get a divorce? 

The first thing to remember is that no one can answer these questions except for you. No one can make the decision for you. Frankly, that's the way it needs to be. You never want to regret the decisions you make because you let someone else choose for you. 

I am a huge believer in working it out if at all possible. I really dislike when I hear someone say they got divorced because they just "grew apart." Now, there is probably more to their story than that (which we will talk about in a later post). When thinking about getting divorced you have to consider many things. Some of which are the following:

1. What are your reasons for wanting a divorce? 

2. Are the problems in your marriage truly problems? For example: caps left off of the toothpaste and getting mad about the seat being left up are probably not good reasons for a divorce.

3. What are your options? Can you go to counseling? Can you go visit one of your church leaders? Marriage counseling? Individual counseling? Addiction counseling? Legitimate support groups? 

4. Are you spiritually taking care of your marriage and self? Lots of people go on a pilgrimage of sorts to find religion. Pray, read your scriptures. God gave us these things for a reason and has asked us to make good use of them. If you aren't following what he suggests, then don't be shocked when things start to fall apart.  

My point is to think long and hard before getting a divorce. 

On the other hand, some divorces are just done deals. I agree with Dr. Laura's 3 A's, but we will talk about them in a later post. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations with spouses who are dangerous, who physically hurt us, who end up being addicted to dangerous substances, who end up being murderers or kidnappers or rapists. In this case you have probably moved past the basic question of divorce and are now wondering how in the heck to protect your family. More to come on that later.

Remember that divorce is awful to say the least. It is harrowing, it is draining, costly, stressful, time consuming. Sometimes it is necessary, but sometimes it really isn't. Make sure that you think hard on this subject, pray and try to see your situation for what it really is. Are you in a dangerous marriage, or is it something that can be worked on?