How to act around people who are getting a divorce

I think it's safe to say that most people don't know what to say or how to act around someone that is getting a divorce.

Divorce is traumatic, like death or an accident or losing one's job.  Except you probably won't get flowers, you probably won't get a sympathy card and people might avoid you because they just don't know what to say.  It's awkward. But sometimes this is a good thing.  You might not want to dwell on your failed marriage and people bringing it up just might make the situation more sore.  At the same time, this is something you are going through and it is weird not to feel support. It can feel weird to not have even close friends ask you about how one of the biggest things in your life is going.

Simply put: don't take it personally.  The people and friends around you don't know your situation, even if you feel like you've told them all the details. Because no one has lived your life. And lots of people can't understand and can't grasp a situation until they have lived it themselves. And even then, sometimes living it appears to send them into denial.

And then some people will feel pity, some people will scowl at you, some will ignore you because they might be having marital problems and talking about your divorce is really not good for them at the moment.

My advice to those who know someone who is getting a divorce: Divorce is always sad.  No matter what the reasons or what the situation, it is always sad.  Realize that the parties involved are going through a drastic change in life.  Their finances, time, physical and mental energy among other things are being stretched.  Even if the person you know is getting out of a bad situation, and the divorce is needed, they are still going through all of these things.  Don't necessarily be afraid to ask them how they are doing. Just letting them know that you are there for them is a huge thing.

On the flip side:

My advice to those who are getting a divorce:  Don't expect masses of friends to come and support you.  Sad, I know.  But remember, they are nervous about saying the wrong thing.  Some may be proactive in checking in with you and some may not.  Family may be different, though there is a good chance it won't be. It just depends.  Keep up with family and friends, don't wait for them to call.  Call them up for an outing or what not.  Make sure not to crowd the conversation by continuously talking about your divorce.  I'm not saying don't talk about it, but don't make that the sole topic.  And make sure to keep up on prayer and other religious activities.  God will always be there for you, even when other people don't know how to be.

That's my advice as someone who has been through a divorce, take it or leave it.