What to do with Evidence on a Computer

Have evidence on your computer? Stop doing anything on the computer and immediately call someone official who will know how to document it. You can start by talking to your lawyer about what the evidence is and if they have a suggestion of what to do with it. 

Or you could also call a computer investigator. Like a Forensic Computer Specialist. 

Your situation is entirely unique to you and I can not and would not give advice. This is just my personal experience.

I had evidence on my computer that was very important to my case. I called someone who investigates computers, they came and got the computer and then searched it. Afterwards they gave me a report of what they found and they sealed up my computer. 

Why would they seal it up? To show that no one had touched it since the investigator. 

This was super annoying. And I was not thrilled to suddenly have my computer non-usable. But, hey, that's evidence.

The specialist also said that he could make a copy of anything I needed on the computer. He had the ability to copy the whole hard drive if needed. 

But I was told that evidence is more usable if you can limit the number of people who's custody it has been in. If you can track and limit who had access to the evidence it will help. If you can prove that they evidence has not been accessed, all the better.

How to address the Judge or Commissioner from the table

Before you go to court, ask your attorney what to do if the Commissioner or Judge speaks to you directly. In the courthouse I go to for hearings there are little signs on the desks that ask you to stand when addressing the Commissioner.

There have been a couple of times when the Commissioner has addressed me directly and I am so nervous that I answer before I realize that I didn't stand up!

So, before you go in, talk to your attorney about what to do if you are called on.

Of course if you are representing yourself and going to stand at the podium, then that is an entirely different thing.

I am just talking about if you are sitting by your attorney and the Commissioner turns to you and asks you a question.

But, I have seen other people asked questions in the middle of a hearing and they are sitting back in their chair, lounging. Then they hmm and haw, not acting like they really care. Which does not seem very professional.

When I talk, I try to get straight to the point and speak clearly. But, that's just me.

Ask your attorney so that when the time comes you aren't blindsided and know how to calmly respond.

Prepare for the worst

It is a depressing subject, but an important one. If you were to die, what would still need to be done in your divorce case or for your kids, etc.

Are there important facts that someone else would need to argue? I'm not talking about deciding who gets the toaster oven, but arguing other volatile issues. If there is something important that wouldn't change once you died and would need to be argued.

Do you have a will or a life insurance policy that could protect your kids? Who would take care of them if you passed?

These are all things you need to think about and prepare for. What could you do now to prepare for the worst?

Final Divorce Agreement 3 : Transportation

One thing we covered in our final agreement was who was in charge of transportation. Who picks up the child, who drops off the child, etc.

What we agreed on, and what I believe is pretty standard, is that the receiving parent picks the child up.  So, at the beginning of my ex's parent time visit he is in charge of coming to get the child. At the end when the visit is over, I am in charge of coming to pick up the child.

And you'd better be on time! Don't be late, and don't even be too early. Be respectful of the other parent's time. If you realize that traffic was light and you are way too early, go on a drive or something. This is just my personal opinion, and not a legal opinion.

Then, we also included where we pick up the child. At the residence or mutually agreed upon location. Now, realistically, I am pretty accommodating on this part. My ex has asked me to come pick her up from other locations once in a while and so far those have worked out.

There are tons of different transportation arrangements out there. Some pick up from the curb or from a different location all together, if one party is supervised then the terms of the supervision will affect the pickup. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Do you need to rehash all the details of your paperwork in court?

The last time I was in the court room, I about had a heart attack because of all the details my lawyer wasn't talking about. All the points he wasn't arguing.

I kept thinking, "We are letting the opportunity to argue these points and make sure that the Commissioner knows the truth pass us by!"

And meanwhile my ex was rehashing every single detail (and untruth) from his paperwork.

But then, in the end, the Commissioner made his decision as if we had argued all our details.

My lawyer told me later that the Commissioner reads all of the paperwork, and so we didn't need to rehash every little detail.

Now, I have also had instances where the Commissioner said that he didn't look at a specific piece of paperwork, so... that was frustrating.

But, I digress. I was told that the Commissioner in general reads the arguments and is prepared before you get there. Not that you shouldn't say any of your points, of course.

But personally I will be keeping this in mind before I have a heart attack.

It is hard because the court literally has your life in their hands and it is natural for you to want to make sure they have all the facts. There really is no easy answer when it comes to court.

What it all comes down to is... talk to your lawyer about it and make sure your paperwork is in order and complete. Plus, when the Commissioner looks back in your case to see what has happened, they will look at your past paperwork.

Final Divorce Agreement 2 : The Life Insurance Policy

(Remember that I am not a lawyer, this is purely from my personal experience. You should check with a lawyer before you act)

My final agreement includes that my ex has to obtain a life insurance policy.

It makes sense, really. If he were to die, then my child wouldn't get any child support from him (however small it is). So the idea of the life insurance is that it would give my child the money in liu of child support.

But you have to do it right. And not just hope it gets done right, you have to put it in the agreement in such a way that you know it will get done in a correct and timely manner.

1) My child is the beneficiary.

This is a given. If the money is for her, it should go to her.

2) I am the trustee.

Sometimes they call the trustee something else, but it all comes down to the same thing. The money is entrusted with you. After all, the beneficiary is a minor.

This is a very very important step. Could you imagine what would happen if I wasn't the trustee? Simply put: I wouldn't want to have to go through someone else to get the money.

3) I put in a clause that will make sure this gets done.

Without going into too much details, we agreed to put in a clause that he would get one of the things he wanted in the agreement only after he correctly secured the insurance.


4) The insurance has to be at least $200,000, kept until my child is 18 years old.


Things I wish I had put in:

1) The court ended up having to specify to my ex that I should be able to have continued access to the policy to make sure that it is kept up and correct. It was a pain, he was fighting it, and I had to get the court to clear this issue up. We were in court for something else, but I brought this up and they clarified.

2) I wish I had put in a clause that spelled out what would happen if the policy was ever neglected or incorrect. Something that would stop us from having to go back to court in the case that that happened.

How to document texts

In any kind of court case, it is important that you fully document any evidence. This can include text messages. 

Sometimes someone will text you something that might be used in court, or sometimes you may want to just document any communication you have with someone to protect yourself.

My first attorney told me to literally take pictures of the text. I literally just snap a photo of my phone and the text on it, like in the picture above only there would be a text there. (note: this is not a picture of my phone, but a picture of a phone). 

And then I also keep a copied log of all texts and emails together in a timeline of how I received them.

I have submitted text messages with key information on them as evidence and they helped my case. Though, a note to you, ask your attorney if you need to submit the whole conversation. I had submitted text messages that could stand by themselves, but the court wanted to see both sides. This makes it hard when someone sends you a text and that is the extent of the conversation. That is part of why I log text messages in chronological order, too. 

I wish I didn't have to be so thorough in logging. But when you are dealing with people who have no problem lying, then you have to document things just to protect yourself, to be able to show the truth about how simple events happened.

Remember, I am not an attorney. Ask your attorney about this.