The Step Parent

Step parenting is a serious science. And some people are good scientists, and some are . . . not.

My ex is remarried. And at first I was extremely excited about him marrying her. I had hoped that she would be an extra level of protection for my kid. In fact, I really pushed her relationship with my daughter. I saw the soon to be step mom as an opportunity for added safety.

It soon became apparent, however, that the Step Mom does not have my daughter's best interest in mind. Everything she does seems to be in an attempt to punish me.

Which is really too bad. Step parents have an awesome opportunity to be a force for good, an example.

I do feel bad for her. I've been married to my ex, I know the emotional toll that his actions (whether or not she knows about them) must be having on her. She is in a bad place, and understandably. I also know some other issues that she is dealing with that must be very very hard on her. And some of them I have also been through, but of course we haven't had any buddy buddy talks about them.

But.

Rolling your eyes at the bio-parent, grabbing the kid and literally running away while the bio-parent keeps asking you to stop, back talking, trying to literally change the kid in every way imaginable whenever she is on a visit, etc. etc. etc. are all bad things to do!

If you are a Step Parent, please heed my words. You have this chance to be in a kids life and hopefully do some good. I know some step parents who basically walked in to the situation and saved the day. They are the heroes of the story! These are people that have brought so much love into an awful situation. I also know some step parents who basically walked in to the situation and made everything worse.

It is hard to walk in to an existing chaos and try to deal with it. It is hard to enter into what is basically someone else's family and try to blend in. I have a basic level of respect for anyone who even tries these things. It is a great responsibility.

Please just do your best to handle this responsibility well.

I really do pray that my ex's wife can find some peace in her situation, to move past all of this crud. I just don't think she's really thought anything through.