Congrats, you're . . . divorced?

The other day, a friend of mine told us that her divorce was final. We all congratulated her.

Which kills me.

Yes, kills me. Because it feels so contrary to how it should be. And do you know why it feels like that? Because it is. Ideally, no one would have to get divorced.

Notice I said "have to" instead of just "no one would get divorced." Because unfortunately, a lot of us find ourselves in crappy situations, dealing with dangerous stuff.

Now, I run a blog completely on dealing with your divorce. If you are here, I am assuming that you are going through a divorce process or situation yourself. My words of advice are thus: Do NOT apply your situation to everyone else. And do not make "divorce" a casual word in your life.

Even when divorce is necessary, it is still sad. So, yes. I will congratulate my friend who got herself out of an abusive situation and is now able to move on with her life to at least a small degree. But I will also morn for her and the heartache that is divorce.

Divorce should not be taken lightly, nor should the discussion of it.

At the same time, getting to a safe place from a dangerous one is something worth celebrating.

Just be real about it. Just because Divorce was the right choice for you doesn't mean that Divorce itself is a happy thing. Now, being safe? That is a happy thing.

And there lies the difference. In reality, when I congratulate someone on their divorce, I am really congratulating them on getting to a safer place.